Repairing a Relationship
The paths through life are often littered with obstacles, but it does not mean those traveling them will fall or fail in reaching their goals. When people choose to combine their separate paths, they must be realistic in knowing the road will not be smooth. They will have to find ways to help each other up whenever they fall, so repairing a relationship must be expected when circumstances make life difficult. For those who make the effort to work out their differences, life can be even better than they expected. It might not be easy, but their hard work will give them more joy when they reach out to each other in times of need.
Living with Unfaithfulness
Most people expect their partner in marriage to be faithful to them, and it can be hard to even look at a spouse who has chosen to cross that line. Living with unfaithfulness in a trusted mate can be nauseating, and it can make a person wonder why they should choose to remain in the relationship. No matter how much the cheater tries to reassure them they will stay faithful in the future, learning to live with the betrayal of trust is like having an itch without scratching it.
Examining the Marriage
When it comes out that a spouse has cheated, the betrayed person often looks at their own behavior to see where they went wrong. It is seldom their fault, and they must look beyond their own actions to those of their betrayer. Examining the marriage in fine detail might not tell them much, and they will need to turn that same attention upon their wandering spouse. An honest look at their motives will often be the best way to decide if the relationship can be saved or not. If the person is honest about their reasons for cheating, there is a good chance the two can work out their differences.
Establishing New Rules
When a spouse has cheated but wishes to remain in the relationship, establishing new rules seems like a good idea. The issue with this is that there were already a set of rules that have been bent or broken, so the main issue is to find out whether or not they will follow any rules at all. There must be consequences to keep them from choosing bad behavior that will hurt others, but there also needs to be work on the part of the betrayed person who must enforce them. Failure to enforce the rules at any time might be seen as permission to continue the bad behavior without consequences, so there is a further burden placed upon the faithful spouse.
It is always difficult to deal with trust issues in any relationship, but those in a long term relationship where two adults had an agreement are much more difficult. They can make the person who has been abused feel as if they have done something wrong, but it is the person who broke the rules that created the problem. It is unfortunate at best, but making the choice to continue the relationship places an even larger burden on the person who did not deserve it.